I've been using Spotify as a paid music streaming service for about a decade (that's almost $1200), and I was always happy with myself for supporting musicians instead of just downloading their music for free. After hearing the news about Spotify paying so much for certain podcasters, that I am not a fan of, I have decided to cancel my Spotify account and start using TIDAL exclusively. I subscribed to TIDAL in 2020 for the same price as Spotify, because it allows me to use streamed music on my Serato DJ software (which Spotify does not), and it has been a pretty great service! I have been a habitual user of Spotify due to all of the playlists that I had curated on the platform, but I was able to find a service (Soundiiz.com) that allowed me to transfer all of my 40+ playlists onto TIDAL! The sound quality is better and it has options that I really love, like a button to push for song lyrics, that Spotify just doesn't have. The biggest plus is that the compensation for artists is better than Spotify. In light of all of the news lately, I am listening to the wise words of India.Arie and giving my dollars to a platform that supports musical artists and even has one of my favorite music moguls on the board of directors, Mr. Carter, AKA Mr Beyonce, AKA Hova, AKA Jigga, AKA Jay-Z. So, check out TIDAL if you share similar feelings about the value of artists' work. It's easy to make the switch, and then you can find one of my playlists that you like and just enjoy the groovy tunes, knowing that you are doing more for your favorite artists than you were before!

I do love podcasts, by the way, but I don't listen to the Dude-Bro Experience. I've been an avid podcast fan since 2008 and am very aware that there are many worthy listens out there. I don't know why 'mericans put so much emphasis on the foolish, racist-friendly podcasts, but this IS the USA. My current favorite podcasts are: Code Switch, You're Wrong About, iWeigh, Slow Burn, The History Chicks, Endless Thread, Maintenance Phase, Ordinary Equality, Pod Save the People and Ear Hustle. I listen to them on an app called Stitcher that has been a great, free resource that I have used for over a decade! Podcasts are an amazing way to hear the POV of people who have very different experiences of the world. They are a great way to expand your mind and become a better human. Don't be one of those people who just emphasizes the opinions they already have. Dive in and learn about the human experience from all different walks of life. It's a great big world out there and I think it's time that we started understanding each other more, rather than focusing on our differences that tear us apart. 

I’ve really been working on living in a more mindful way this year. It’s amazing how much stuff is coming up. My meditation practice is up to 30-40 minutes a day. There’s a lot of work to do, but it feels good to have started on the path to a better me.

I’ve been watching and loving Unsolved Mysteries on Amazon Prime Video. Today I hit the jackpot when I noticed the award winning star in one of the scenes. It is 90’s retro gold! Season 5 Episode 12.

What's Next?

That's a question I've asked a lot in my life. As a performer, it seems to be the constant state of my life. Looking for the next thing and hoping what's next is better than what's come before. 

For years, I've been making plans for lots of different artistic endeavors. Now is the time of my life that I am poised to make my plans a reality. 

I've found a great business partner and started a non-profit organization called What's Next? It's exciting to finally have the opportunity to get my ideas off the ground and to be in such a creative partnership. 

As the name of the company kind of suggests, we are always thinking of new ideas. There is a lot of great stuff on the table and we are not sure how everything is going to work out, but it is definitely going to be an exciting ride!

Stay tuned for all of the new endeavors and find out What's Next?

     This year, I was nominated in four categories, Best Leading Actor in a Play (for Tom in The Glass Menagerie At the 6th St Playhouse), Best Featured Actor in a Play (for Tom in The Glass Menagerie at the 6th St Playhouse), Best Featured Actor in a Musical (for The Dentist in Little Shop of Horrors at Narrow Way Stage Company) and Person to Watch in the San Francisco Bay Area. It is easy to realize how little these nominations mean when I am in 2 categories for the same role (and that happens a lot), but it's still nice to know that theatre professionals around the Bay Area are seeing my name. Hopefully they are taking notice and will be on the lookout for me in the future.

   I don't want to sound like I'm being cynical about these awards either. Even though they may not be an accurate representation of who merited the honor, it is a great opportunity for the whole theatre community to promote themselves. It is also a stroke of genius for the people at Broadwayworld to drive traffic to their site during the last quarter of the year. It is also a way to acquaint yourself a little bit with what is going on around the area. I was especially interested to see that there were only 5 theatre companies in the "Best Production performed for Youth" category. It's interesting to see what kind of trends there are in local theatre over the last year. 

     So, take a few minutes to vote for your favorites in each category or none at all if you don't know any of the work in that category. It's a great way to feel like a part of the theatre community!

    In the past few days, I have found myself embroiled in a bit of a controversy with the production of The Glass Menagerie at the 6th Street Playhouse in which I am playing Tom Wingfield. I have never been one to gossip about people and I make a real effort to encourage everyone in our creative field to be positive and not focus on negativity. It's a pretty simple equation to me. Negativity and gossip are destructive forces and have no place in trying to create. Unfortunately, my influence seems to mean little to some of the people around me who would call themselves my friends.

    When I moved to this area, I fell in love with the amount of support there seemed to be within the local theatre community. A few of my friends and I came up to do a benefit concert for a state park and were greeted with lots of assistance from the likes of Samantha Kimpel, David Templeton at the Glaser Center, Vicki Suemnicht at The Dance Center and Craig Miller at the 6th Street playhouse. After my coworker suddenly lost her husband, the people of this theatre community converged and supported and continue to support her in recovering from such a horrible turn of fate. My group of friends decided to stay in Sonoma County and try to help build up this local theatre scene, which already has a great foundation, into a regional theatre hotspot.

    I was fortunate enough to find a part time artistic home at the 6th Street Playhouse doing good work that I really believe in. It is not always great work, but it is always solid and artistically autonomous. This is not a place with a large budget and I spend more money on a production than I get paid, but I am happy to sacrifice time with my loved ones for the opportunity to bring some real stories to the people of our community. That is the only reason I do this kind of work at this level. I love the process of creating a character and telling a story through my art that has an affect on people. I have loved telling the stories of laid off factory workers in The Full Monty, the misunderstood patients in a mental institution in the 1960's in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and, perhaps what is closest to my heart, the destructive pain of a passionate artist who just can't seem to figure out how to fit in with the world in the way he feels he is expected to, and is tortured by his past decisions, in The Glass Menagerie.

    I think it was May of 2014 when Craig first said something to me about the possibility of playing Tom in this production. I was floored because of how long I have wanted to play it and how I had left that thought to the past because of my age and how it is typically staged. From the moment I picked up the script again, I started to think about all of the things I was taught in school to think about when Creating A Character. I have a very distinct process which includes NOT taking in anything that I should compare myself to. I don't watch the movie of a play I am doing until I am done performing it and I don't research other productions and try to take pointers from what others have done. My character work is mine and my director's and I do not want influences from how anyone may have done it before. It is an organic process which I believe has led me to the place in my career that I am at where I am very proud of the work I put in front of people.

  My facial hair is always a big part of any role I take on. My family will attest to the fact that I change my look all the time and am even willing to look ridiculous in my regular life instead of putting something fake on my face. I am into making the audience believe that this world is as real as it can be while still being on stage. I even went for a couple of weeks with a "Chaplin" or "Hitler" style mustache when I played Herman in Sweet Charity at the University of Vermont. Who does that?! This fool over here! I like wearing a beard usually, so I already had a bit of a beard when I started thinking about the role and continued to let it grow out to be as shaggy as possible to show people just how much my character is focusing on his tragic loss and has given up worrying about his appearance. Even as my wife begged me to shave my cheek and neck hair, I grew it out to look as much the part as I could.

   I bring up the beard, because I am hearing a lot of people talk about the similarities between our show and another one in Chicago and when I look at the pictures online, the main similarity I see is the appearance of me and the Tom in their production. Of course he looks a lot more like a model than I do with my receding hairline and gray in my beard, but we both have similar brown beards. In all honesty, my beard has a lot more gray in it than can be seen in our production photos, because I didn't like the way it looked when we did our video promo months ago and put a little Just for Men in it to balance the color of my chin hair with my jaw hair. But until yesterday, I had never seen a picture of this other production. This choice was made all on my own, with out input from any stylists from the show. I did it in the bathroom of my trailer (where I live, not like a movie star's trailer) and the first time I did the Light/Medium Brown M-30, I left it in waaaaaay too long and it almost turned black. I felt like a Brian Wilson wannabe (the pitcher not the Beach Boy) and finally was able to give it a better balance after a couple of weeks of washing the color out on a regular basis.

   Another similarity is my trench coat. I said in one of the first rehearsals that I imagine that Tom has lots of paper in lots of pockets which are the writings of his memory play which is being performed and he is still working on. When I worked as a guard in prison, I saw guys sewing extra pockets onto their clothing and thought of Tom doing the same thing. I still have no idea if that is even an aspect of the other production, so I definitely did not steal the idea. A trench coat worked better than the usual pea coat which is worn by Tom, because of the size of the sheets of paper that I have in bunches in all of the different pockets. Our costume designer did a great job sewing the pockets on and distressing the coat to make it look well worn in Tom's world. I use these pages throughout the show and I was given the freedom of finding places to use them. The device may not work or it may seem a bit odd at times, but I take full responsibility for it. There was only one time when it was affected by a note which was to get rid of using it in one scene, which I think made the scene cleaner and had no complaints about the direction.

    At no point in the rehearsal process or the pre-production did I ever hear of this other production from Craig or had I seen any pictures from it. There are ideas that we use which they didn't. The director of the other production put the hashtag on his FB page of #thisassholestolemyplaybutnosweatcauseitdidntlookgood, without considering that the productions look completely different because they came from completely different points of view. Except for the look of yours truly, which as I stated is very similar to their Tom. Let's speak about that hashtag for a moment. This guy says "stolemyplay," which seems to me that he has lost all respect for the author of the play, Tennessee Williams. When did The Glass Menagerie become the property of this man? He can't quite figure that out, but it seems to me that he has quite the ego and thinks that everything he does is gold and should be known worldwide.

    I think that leads me to my last point in what has become a much longer post than I intended. To what end would we want to steal an artistic concept? Apparently, the director of the other production has Waiting for Guffman type dreams of "going to BROAD-WAY!" We at the 6th Street Playhouse have no such ambitions. We do this to serve the community in which we live. We want people to think differently about the homeless in our community and create a conversation about mental illness that is sorely lacking in the United States. We do not make money off of producing and performing in these works of art, we just do it for the love of the art itself. I believe that theatre has a certain power that we need to embrace for the good of our society. Let's get people back to thinking critically about issues instead of regurgitating what they hear on Television and taking a side like they are cheering for the A's or the White Sox.

I'll repeat what I posted on Facebook the day we started getting attacked by the Chicago crowd:
'Let's change the narrative of this conversation. This is our daily reality in the West End of Santa Rosa. Homelessness is not only a problem in big cities. There is plenty of inspiration for Craig A. Miller's The Glass Menagerie right outside our theatre walls. There are nearly 10,000 homeless individuals in Sonoma County. Thanks to Waverly and Matthew for talking to me about their lives and allowing me to share their pics with the internet.'

    Like I said before, we in the theatre community should build each other up and not tear each other down. I had a dance teacher in college who said, "Shit never turned a double pirouette." Negativity, gossip and put downs are not good tools for creators to use.  Imagine the beauty of the art we could create if we only encourage others to be the best they can be with the support of the entire theatre community. Theatre is an art form that has existed for thousands of years and I am proud to be a tiny part of the lineage of this art form. I believe in the power of theatre to change lives. I believe this is a superior art form to television and film because it is such a collaborative process which includes the feedback we get from each individual audience and our immediate surroundings. That community feedback is what makes theatre so addictive. I have done film and television, but do not feel the connection to those art forms like I do to performing live in front of my neighbors. I may be feeling shattered by all of the bad feelings coming my way, but I believe that the power of theatre will make me feel better once I get on stage again. I am looking forward to sharing our work with my community, friends and family, a few more times this weekend. I will continue do the good work that I am proud of and encourage others to do the same.

I decided to start my own children's theatre company this summer and start touring a show in the fall. We are creating the show from scratch, so it's been a challenge and very absorbing, but I'm loving it. At the moment, I am working on a parody of Happy by Pharrell for the finale. I realized that I've been neglecting my blog, so I thought I would take 5 minutes and record some thoughts. I am working with some amazing people. I have an amazing support system around me and I am in WAAAY over my head, but my friends and loved ones are keeping me afloat!
I'm also having an amazing experience working on The Glass Menagerie at the 6th Street Playhouse in Santa Rosa. Craig Miller is directing and he has a concept that is allowing me to play Tom Wingfield a little older than normal. We shot an incredible trailer for the play last week and I can't wait for the play to really take it's shape.
I'm out of time. I'll try to keep updating on the progress of these things.

   I've been working on Little Shop of Horrors with Narrow Way Stage Company in Sonoma and I've been having a blast! I've been wanting to do this show since I first saw the movie when I was 10 years old. I was offered the part of the Dentist when I was 20, but turned it down for a better opportunity. In 2004 I got to see it on Broadway with Joey Fatone of NSync (or was it the Back Street Boys?) and was able to meet some of my heroes like the original Big Bird puppeteer who was working the plant. I saw my niece play Audrey twice and every time I saw it, thought about how much I would love to play Orin Scravello, DDS.

    I'm at the point in my career where I am starting to outgrow some of the roles I have always wanted to play. The sadistic skid row dentist is one if those roles that I'm on the cusp of being too old for, so when I was approached about auditioning for it, I jumped at the opportunity! When I was preparing for the audition, I was excited about playing the part from my perspective. I find that I am bringing lots more depth to my characters the older I get, so my 37 year old interpretation of this character is so much better than my 20 year old's would have been.

    I had an acting teacher at NYU that said the one line about acting that I have recalled more than any others. His name was Mark Hammer and he said that as an actor, "your life can't be all about acting, because your acting has to reflect your life. If your life is all about acting, then there's nothing to reflect." I believe that's when an actor appears shallow and unbelievable... when they haven't lived. In the last 17 years, my life has been quite an amazing journey which has given me plenty of material to draw from when playing the complex characters which I am cast as these days.

    All of that being said, the way I get to enjoy the roles I'm playing these days is on another level than I did in my earlier career. It's been a while since I've had the chance to play a tough guy, so I have been really sinking my teeth into this one. The songs are a blast and I get to be as close to a rock star as I can in traditional musical theatre. Narrow Way does great things technically with the set and lighting, so this is going to be a real crowd pleaser. I can't wait until we get an audience this week to see the reactions to my despicable dentist.

    I was having a conversation with a friend last week about why musicians are more valued than actors in musicals. We both live for the applause, but musicians have a much higher value of their time. We both spend years learning our craft and we couldn't do it without the other one, so why?! I'm having so much fun doing this role, that I think it's becoming clear why we spend weeks doing this for next to nothing. It's like Lady Gaga said... I live for the applause, applause, applause. As we approach opening, I am getting more and more excited about it. Here's to a great run!

  I always say that the thing I like best about being a stage actor, is going to the bar with cool people afterward! That's only a little bit tongue in cheek. Being able to make deep connections with people over short periods of time is one of the most incredible things about being in the theatre. There is something about going through a super stressful situation together which inevitably fosters bonds between people. Whether those people are the audience or the fellow actors and crew, it's the connections which draw me back to the stage.
  I had taken a big hiatus from the stage to focus on pursuing my childhood dream of acting on screen. I knew that the stage would consume my life if I were to dip my toe in, so I made a commitment to stay away from the boards and focus on acting for the camera. I found the ability to bond with the cast and crew of video productions was a little different. The pressure is not nearly as intense on a film and television set as it is when you have  a live audience coming to the show whether you are ready or not! Life on a Hollywood set is much more relaxed with a lot of sitting around time, which allows us to talk a lot, but there's just something different about it.
  Another thing that I found lacking in my experience as a screen actor was the ability to really craft a performance like I can in the theatrical rehearsal process. The people who decide what an actor's final product looks like on screen are not the actors. Those decisions are made by the director and the editor long after the actors have done their work. I love the permanence of the product once it is done, but there is something about being able to make decisions on the fly about how my character would react in a certain situation that I really miss when I'm working in front of the camera.

  When I moved to Sonoma County in 2012, I was suddenly thrust back into the world of live theatre in a position that was novel to me, but a completely organic outgrowth of my previous experiences. The theatre became my home away from home once again in my professional life. I was spending the majority of my week in the theatre as a teacher and a producer, and decided that it was time for me to get back on the boards as a performer. My first show in front of an audience other than a crew was with The Full Monty in the Spring of 2013. Just a few months shy of a whole decade since I had been in Dames at Sea in Westminster, MD, which was the last full musical I had performed in.
  My friend Lennie Dean came to that performance and was very excited to see my chops and said that it had put me on her "radar." A few months later, she asked me to audition for her upcoming production of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Since I can sing and dance as well as act, I generally get stuck with musical or comic roles, so being a part of such an amazing piece of American literature was an exciting prospect for me. Once I was cast as the neurotic Dale Harding, I realized that this challenge could not have come at a better time for me to really sink my teeth into the role and do the type of work I have always dreamed of doing. I really tried to transform myself for the character including losing 20 pounds and adopting his nervous gestures and mannerisms which Ken Kesey detailed in his pivotal novel.
  Luckily, Lennie did an amazing job of casting our little band of misfits, and we were able to craft a beautiful show that had an impact on our audiences. It was a very draining process and left me feeling a bit of an emotional hangover after the shows, and a major need for decompressing at the bar afterward! I made some great, new friends from different parts of the bay area and left the whole experience feeling so much richer for having been a part of something so powerful. I did receive lots of praise for my portrayal, but I often wonder how much of that is people being nice and friendly, so I never let it go to my head, although I am very grateful.

  When I was asked to be a member of the Sonoma County Stage One Theatre Arts (SOTA) Academy, I was thrilled and honored to be included in the local theatre community. I took the task of nominating people for the varied awards, very seriously and tried my best to honor the most deserving people, but was never expecting to be one of the people who would be honored. After only being in the local theatre community for a little over a year, I thought that not enough people would know who I was and therefore, wouldn't think to vote for me. Apparently I was mistaken.
  When I heard my name announced, by my friend Jill Zimmerman, as the recipient of the Best Supporting Actor award for my role in Cuckoo's Nest, I was shocked and humbled by the love that I have been able to receive in the short time that I have been a member of this great community. I have thought for years about the things I would love to say if I ever had the chance to make a speech for something like this, but somehow, none of those things came to my mind. Instead, I felt the need to express my extreme gratitude to the people close to me that make it possible for me to do what I love to do. I was and am honored, but I still approach everything in the same way I did before. I don't know if I'm chasing my future self, like some other actor who received an award recently, or just trying to do the best I can in every situation I'm in by appreciating these moments. After all, that's what life is, right. A series of moments. Why don't you go out and seize yours?! Alright, alright, alright.
  I may never get the chance to do something as powerful as this. After 20 years in this business, that's a reality which I am well aware of and helps me to appreciate all of the incredible opportunities I have. I'll still do the same level of work or better, but I know that the accolades can't always come in the form of awards and good reviews. If we spend our lives worrying about trying to win something for the work we're doing, life will be full of disappointments. I guess that's why I feel like I am winning every time I get to step on stage with the company of other great artists who are blessed to do what we love and share that gift with our community. This award will always be special to me, just as the awards I won in high school still are, but I loved my career on the stage for the 19 years in between those awards just as much as I will love the next project I start working on.

    I have to admit. I'm addicted... to slavery. But I really want to quit slavery, so 2014 is going to begin my anti-slavery life. I've been ignoring it for some time even though I knew what the sitch was. Some of my favorite things are produced with slave labor and I have chosen to turn a blind eye to the uncomfortable facts and just continue to do what my government and my society want me to do and consume without thought. I guess this makes me a bad capitalist, but I just can't care about supporting this effed up system anymore. I have to make the decision to stand up to a global economy that forces slavery to be the best option for getting the richest country in the world, the cheapest food in the history of mankind.
    In the past year, I've had a weakness for chocolate which was almost insatiable. I probably consumed more refined cocoa in the last year than I have in any other year of my life. Even though I eat a plant based diet and I'm gluten free, I have had trouble steering away from dairy products due to the prominence of them in most of the processed foods available to someone on my budget. Unlike some vegetarians, I have not chosen to limit my meat consumption due to my feelings toward animals, but rather my feelings toward my personal health as I get older. I know it's hypocritical to try to eat a healthy diet, but still be okay with consuming milk fat, but I've realized that my connection to these products runs deep and strong.
    My addictions to different food products, which are bad for me, are easy to overcome once I have found the proper thought process which eliminates the decision making process and affects me on a deeper level. Once I realized how much misery was brought on me and the people around me when I was exposed to Gluten, it was easy for me to pass on products made with wheat flour. The cost does not equal the benefit. It's a simple formula. When I realized that eating meat made me a more aggressive person and it was going to lessen my quality of life as I got older, I was just fine passing on the chicken in favor of some beans and rice. I tried to use similar reasoning for dairy products all year long, to no avail.
    I don't like any kind of industrial farming like they use for dairy production and have seen the inner workings of a factory farm, but it didn't have the desired impact on me. Yes, the cows seem miserable, but when does a cow ever seem happy except in Chick-fil-a commercials?! As a matter of fact, the cattle on the side of the 101 freeway in CA seem quite content with their lifestyle and an old California Cheese commercial used to tout that the best cheese comes from happy cows. This was a brilliant form of brainwashing employed by the dairy council. I guess I'm just an easy mark for that kind of stuff. Much like the way I have an affinity for McDonalds even though they only have 2 or 3 menu items that I can consume with my self imposed dietary restrictions.
    However, I get a much different feeling when I throw human slavery in the picture. I was listening to the Stuff You Should Know podcast from How Stuff Works on the history of chocolate and I heard for the umpteenth time how many child slaves are used in the harvesting and production of Cacao. I'm not sure why, but this time it made a little more of an impact on me. I didn't spit out the candy bar I was eating at the time or anything, but I did start to think about my feelings toward this global industry to which I give many of my hard earned dollars. I came up with the idea to make a New Year's Resolution to give up slavery in 2014.
    Since that point, every time I walk into a convenience store and pick up my usual candy bar, it feels like I am betraying everything that I believe in and, if I purchase it, I am choosing to support a practice that should be a distant memory in the year 1914, let alone 2014! So far it's been a successful experiment in self deterrence, but if I really mean it, I can't stop with candy. Now it's time to start my year of awareness. As you may or may not know, this is where the term "Fair Trade" comes into play when choosing what businesses to support. That's an easy way for me to look out for what I can buy with a healthy conscious, but unfortunately it can't stop there.
    2014 will need to be a year of research into the labor practices of the companies that I support. Making a commitment to not support slave labor is not a passive decision, but an active choice to make every dollar that I spend count as a political statement. I'm sure it won't be easy, but it will be a testament to supporting human rights across the globe. Honestly, I'm a little afraid of what I am going to find out and where it will leave me. It's hard enough having to pay twice as much for my gluten free products as I would for conventional products. I still haven't been able to give up GMO products in favor of organic ones due to the price discrepancy, even though I can't stand what companies like Monsanto have done to the agricultural heritage of North America.
    In the end, I hope I can write a post in a year about how much healthier I feel, not only in my body, but also in my mind and spirit. I hope to be able to affect change on a local level that can be felt on a global level even if it only makes a difference to one person. New Year's Resolutions seem to be all about hope, right? We look forward with a positive mindset to tackle the fear of the unknown with a fervor. At the very least, perhaps I'll stop spending more money on things that are bad for me if not bad for humanity. Now is the time. Down with Slavery in 2014. Let's wipe this despicable practice from the face of the earth so that all children can look forward to a life of comfort and joy!